INDRANIL MUKHERJEE - Getty Images
INDRANIL MUKHERJEE - Getty Images
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I'm going to celebrate Earth Day 2015 with a couple big ass, corn fed, flatulence filtered, American born and raised USDA choice steaks... with some bacon and gulf shrimp thrown around the plate just for good measure.

After a good old-fashioned red meat extravaganza to mark the occasion I’m really gonna take time to reflect on what Earth Day really means to me.

First, I'm going to start by flushing my old fashioned, 3 gallon per flush toilet a few extra times, to celebrate that I live in Michigan and not California.

I'm going to make a very big note of something really significant and celebrate, that March 2015 set an all time record low, for tornados in the United States and celebrate further that April is going to set the all time record low for tornados as well. In fact I am going to celebrate that 2015 is on track to have the fewest tornados in a calendar year, ever.

I am going to celebrate that Florida has not endured a Category 3 hurricane or better in nearly a decade- the longest such period in modern recorded history. My wife’s family will celebrate that too.

I am going to celebrate that the United States is feeding the world with the help of GMO’s and other remarkable scientific advances to help end hunger around the globe. I will be celebrating the hard working American farmer for setting the all time world record in 2014 for the production of corn, soybeans, wheat and rice. I am going to celebrate the incredible effort it took and the massive production it created, that was able to break the old record set all the way back in 2013.

I am also going to celebrate the ingenuity and intellect not only of those that have made incredible advances in the agricultural sciences, to feed more mouths on an ever growing and very hungry planet, but also the engineers, scientists and mathematicians, among others, who continue to create modern marvels like those turned out by John Deere, the legendary American tractor and implement company. Those creations and many more make it possible to plant and harvest the incredible crops, ever more efficiently.

I am going to celebrate the mom’s and dad’s that take the time to explain to their children and grandchildren the truth about the world. I’m going to celebrate the families that spend time together learning about how the world really works and especially those that get dirty doing it and not just reading about it.

I am going to celebrate my family as we get ready to plant seeds, that this summer and fall will be food upon my table.

I am going to celebrate the animals in my field that are more abundant today than at any time in our nation’s history. I will embrace the deer, and the turkeys and rabbits and pheasant and the fish that swim in the lakes and rivers and ponds, for they too shall likely join me one day for dinner.

I am going to celebrate America, the greatest nation on earth, working together collectively, not as a collectivist society but as a free market, capitalist world leader in wealth and opportunity, for anyone willing to work for it.

Mostly however, I am going to celebrate that the left was and is wrong about our demise as a nation, as a people and as a planet. I am going to celebrate the inaccuracy and ignorance of the nearly endless doom and gloom predictions from Progressive Liberals. I will celebrate how wrong they really were predicting savage weather ripping the world to pieces, of Global Warming causing mass famine and starvation around the world and the general destruction of life as we know it.

I woke up again this morning to thank God for my incredible family and that I am an American.  For those things I can never be thankful enough. Later I will be throwing caution to the wind and I will consume copious amounts of red meat, salt, fat and yes cholesterol. All American made of course. Make no mistake I am an anthropogenic global warming denier and an emboldened cholesterol denier too! I feel better just saying those two things out loud. I think I should celebrate that too.

Thank God, I am a free willed, free-thinking American- able to read and write and reason for myself, without being told what is what or where to line up.

Thankfully, before this modern age of indoctrination, my mother, an elementary school teacher for more than three decades taught me her key to teaching others. “Steve,” she’d say, “teach people how to think, not what to think.”

Amen Mom! Oh and happy Earth Day!

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