Illinois Police Warn of Marauding Sex-Crazed Deer
If being funny was a crime, the Washington, Illinois police could cite themselves for their humorous warning on the serious subject of car-deer accidents.
A reminder to motorists: October, November and December are the months that deer in Illinois have a “boom-chick-a-wa-wa” soundtrack running through their heads, so they don’t exercise the road-crossing caution we might normally see. They’re obsessed with the opposite sex. They take risks. They leap (or run) before they look. They play in traffic. And like a singles bar, they get busy about dark. So we ask you, the motoring public, to be aware of this and adjust your driving accordingly:
Watch for eye reflection on/near the road
Use high-beams when legal (oddly – this makes deer easier to see)
If you see a deer, look for the others – they travel in marauding gangs
Slow down- don’t swerve. Too many people swerve into other traffic or something more substantial than a deer
Do not stand near roadways saying, “Here, deer! Come here, boy/girl!” in case this attracts deer
Sometimes deer will try to juke your car like a broken-field runner. Sometimes that does not work. Point is, deer change direction and might come back after jumping away from your intended path. So, and we say this with emphasis, slow down when you see a deer. They are wily and you cannot trust them. They are bad for your car.