Who is the absolute last person, or group of people you'd want to see in a strip club where you're performing? Family, right?

Well, apparently in Ohio, there's enough of a family affair at the local strip clubs that a law was constructed to allow them VIP "access" to their own kin on stage.

*shudders*
(I just threw up in my mouth a little bit)

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Yep, this is real...


If you're familiar with strip club etiquette (which... if my mom is reading this, I'm definitely NOT, and had to look all of this up), of course, you're not allowed to touch the strippers. You keep your hands to yourself. However, incidental contact is gonna happen, especially if you're right up front on the stage, or you pay for a "personal" dance when they aren't up on stage.

But a law in Ohio actually says it's illegal... unless you're FAMILY!

The law is rarely enforced, but in July of 2018, it came to light when police DID enforce it, and arrested porn star Stormy Daniels at a club in Columbus. During her "Make America Horny Again Tour" performance, several undercover police sat near her, who then put several of their faces between her breasts. She also allegedly...

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... touched the butt and breasts of another undercover female officer.

That was enough for police to take her into custody.

The law she supposedly broke?

"The 2007 Community Defense Act prohibits patrons from touching strippers, and 'nude or seminude' strippers from being touched by patrons 'on the premises of a sexually oriented business.'" - USA Today article from 2018

I mean COME ON! They didn't touch her, she touched them... which... I think is a technicality you can argue here. I'm not sure, I'm not a lawyer.

HOWEVER, it was this next part that caught everyone's attention...

"Oddly enough, the law contains a carve-out for immediate family members, who are allowed to touch strippers they're related to while at a strip club, for unclear reasons."

UNCLEAR REASONS!?!?!?!?
WHAT THE %$@# DOES THAT MEAN!?!?

I kinda don't care about the Stormy Daniel thing anymore (it was a stupid law, she got let go, filed a lawsuit, and settled for $450,000. The end).

Seriously, Ohio... I know you're the "Florida" of the upper Midwest, but like... seriously? FAMILY can touch their own at the Strip Club? If I have a family member dancing at a strip club, and I walk in and see it, I'm turning RIGHT around and walking back out the door, then washing my eyes out with Clorox.

I seriously hope this law is being changed soon, because in the words of Cleveland...

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Also - Sidebar - specifically the City of Columbus Police Force...
WHY were you sending undercover officers to a strip club? And WHY did you need more than one? And WHY did they need to be so close to actually "be a part of the show?"

Don't Go Into the Basement of this Ohio Home for Sale