If you're finding out that Fake Urine is a thing right now, then join the club. I had NO idea this was even a reality, or that it was such a lucrative business.

Nonetheless, Michigan legislators are well aware of it, and are entertaining possible legal actions against people who use or sell products that might help cheat a drug test. (S.B. 134; S.B. 135)

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Specifically, they're targeting marijuana, which has been legal in the state since 2018. But, it can stay in your body's system for long periods of time, and is detectable in your urine for up to a month. Some companies - despite state law - still test for the substance, so many prospective employees are looking for ways to mask their use of marijuana.

Currently, there are some Urine alternatives with names like UPass, Omni, Monkey Flask, and X-Stream. The majority come with the liquid, and a bottle that can be strapped to the thigh, or stuffed into a person's underwear or pockets. Most of the products are made with Creatinine, different colorings, and some products add uric acid and other chemicals to fully mimic "natural" urine.

Now, I've heard of people getting a fake... um... "unit" and running a straw through it with someone else's clean pee. And I've heard of people buying clean urine to use during a test... but that's always been REAL URINE! This is manufactured pee, being sold on shelves at certain establishments... LEGALLY! Drop $20, and you've got a bottle of fake pee to beat a drug test.

What scientist woke up one day and thought, "ya know... I wonder if I can replicate clean urine?"

This is not the future I think our forefathers had in mind. BUT... here we are, and for a little more detailed description of what these products are, watch this demonstration (totally SFW) of testing one of the products.

The State of Michigan sees these products as potentially hazardous, not only to the employee, but the people who might work around them.

Via an article with MLive.com, Jamie Callahan spoke on behalf of Senator Curtis S. Vanderwall, who sponsored State Bill 134, which would effectively make synthetic urine illegal in Michigan...

"Unfortunately, some people have taken steps to mask their drug test results in their workplace... and this has led to the rise of a market where some substances can be acquired to skirt the test.
"I think we can all agree that we don't want people endangering others on the job, or even themselves, and we would hate to see someone get hurt because they faked their drug test."
- Jamie Callahan

But marijuana IS perfectly legal in Michigan, just like alcohol. They don't test for alcohol in your system when you get a job. WHY, then, do we still need to worry about testing for drugs?

Well, some companies test for THC, as well as other, more dangerous things in a person's system. Most drug tests seem to be all-inclusive, so at this point, it's "ask for these tests, get the THC test FREE!"

But there's also the national aspect of things. Some companies are not solely based in Michigan, or other states where marijuana is legal, and their national company policy is... "NO WEED."

Company policy is company policy, no matter what state you're in. And it's likely, that company's policy is based on federal law. So as long as the federal government deems marijuana illegal, you still get tested.

You also run the risk of someone taking advantage of this synthetic urine, and using it to beat drug tests for OTHER, more dangerous substances. Do you really want to be working the line next to a person who passed their drug test, but CLEARLY has an addiction to something a bit stronger than marijuana?

Synthetic Urine, sold legally, to a person with just a $20 bill, could get that person a job. They could be right next to you, or worse, operating a forklift, or truck.

As dumb as most people might see this, because it is heavily targeted at marijuana users right now... these bills do have some merit to them. Not to mention... buying synthetic pee right off the shelves... is kinda gross. I think we can all agree on that.

If You Have Any of These Jobs In Michigan, I'm Kind of Jealous of You

Not because working as a content creator and on air personality is dull (far from it), but it would be fun to shake things up once in a while.