Where Does Michigan Rank In Most Miserable Winters List?
Native Michiganders know how cold and miserable winters in Michigan can be, but do you know how we stack up to the rest of the country.
A website named Thrillist did some research and debated among themselves to rank the best to the worst states for winter. They reviewed:
everything from weather patterns and average temperatures to the efficacy with which state governments keep roads clear to the historical success rates of their winter-season sports teams
How scientific it was I cannot assess but it was fun to read through the descriptions of the states and their rankings.
I must admit I was very surprised where the state of Michigan ranked in this list. First let me tell you what they said about Michigan and then I will give you our ranking. They said, in what I would consider a humorous way:
Winter in Michigan begins well before Thanksgiving and stretches far past Easter, which makes for four-to-six wearisome months of always-gray, always-cold, always-drizzly, but-rarely-snowy-in-a-good-way misery. Some other states may see colder temps or more snow, but Michigan winters are unrivaled for their utter lack of sunshine. The ceaseless cloud cover begins in October, and envelopes the state in a daily sense of gloom that only worsens when the apathetic sun slouches below the horizon at quarter-to-five.
For the Michigander, this is winter: you leave work at 5 or 6, already in the dead of night, and fight your way down 94 or 96 or 75 or whatever Godforsaken stretch of highway. You can't even tell if it is drizzling rain or snow, because the brown salt sludge that sprays up off the road coats your windshield more completely than anything that falls from the sky. Overnight, the road freezes. In the morning you wake up and it is still dark. You scrape off your car, then get stuck in traffic as the cars ahead of you gawk at the SUV that has slid into the ditch. You actually look forward to a proper snowfall, just to cover the dirt. Even then, you do not go skiing, because there are no hills.
You do not look forward to outdoor winter recreation because there is none. You might go bowling. You probably put on weight. If you are lucky you might have a snowmobile, but it's a pain in the ass to get out. More likely your ass#$^@ neighbor has one, and it is loud. In early April you convince yourself it is spring because it is Tigers Opening Day. You overpay for tickets to the game, tell yourself 45 degrees isn't that cold, and cheer when the sun peeks out at the end of the fourth inning. That is the light at the end of the tunnel. Winter in Michigan is a miserable, miserable time. -- Bison Messink, Deputy Editor/recovering Michigander
Well I think he pretty much nailed it, would you agree? Where did we rank, well I will give you the list of the bottom 10 and you will find out. They are:
10. Massachusetts
9. Montana
8. Idaho
7. Wisconsin
6. South Dakota
5. Maine
4. North Dakota
3. Alaska
2. Michigan
1. Minnesota
Really the second worst state in the country for miserable winters!
Alaska even beat us, now that is interesting.
Have a great cloudy, always-gray, always-cold, always-drizzly, but-rarely-snowy-in-a-good-way misery winter this year Michigan.
Oh by the way, go figure Hawaii was ranked as the state with the least miserable winter. Of Hawaii the said
Aloha means hello, goodbye, and “who cares about pro sports teams when the average temperature during the winter is 81 and we’re all over here eating malasadas and making fun of you stupid cold haoles.” It IS kinda windy though?
Well at least we have man-made global warming to look forward to, it will improve our winters and make our world greener.
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